Class of '91
Brown Alumni Association
Box 1859
Providence, RI 02912

In early 2008, we sent out a survey to each member of the Class of ‘91 for whom we had an email address. We received responses from 340 people, 22% of the class, and we compared the results to the original 2003 class survey (245 people, 18% of the class).  Thank you very much to those who took the time to respond - the results were very interesting! The following is a summary of the answers.

Question 1: What are you up to now?

30%                            Business/Communications

17%                            Academia

11.5%                         Medical

9.5%                           Parenting

8.9%                           Law

5%                              Arts

3.6%                           Public Sector

14%                            Other/Chilling

These numbers haven’t changed much since our last survey in 2003. Slightly more people answered “Parenting” and slightly fewer said “Public Sector” this time. As for the people who chose “Other”, many are full-time graduate students or are teaching. One person is making handmade acoustic guitars, one is in the ministry, and one is “establishing a farm/working as a chef.” Our favorite response: “I find it mildly annoying that a Brown survey makes it impossible to choose both parenting and an additional pastime... I am both parenting my 2 kids and running my business.”

Question 2: Have you found a life partner?

85.5% of the respondents have found a life partner, 11.8% have not, and 3.2% aren’t sure yet.  In 2003, 77% of the people who responded to the survey had found a life partner, 16% had not, and 4% said “Maybe.”

Question 3: Is your partner a Brown graduate?

17.7 % of the respondents have found a Brown graduate as a life partner. 77.4% of those partners are from the classes of ’91-’93.

Question 4: Are you a parent?

69% of the survey respondents are parents, up from 47% in 2003.

Question 5: If you have children, how many kids to do you have?

53% of respondents have two kids. 20% have 3 kids, and 20% have 1 kid. 6.5% are expecting. Two intrepid respondents have more than six kids.

Question 6: What is the best book you’ve read recently? What was the best book you read while you were at Brown?

Answers to this question were all over the map, so we created a full best book listing.  Many people professed not to remember anything they had read at Brown.  The current books that came up the most often were “Eat, Pray, Love” by Elizabeth Gilbert, “Middlesex” by Jeffrey Eugenides, “A Thousand Splendid Suns” by Khaled Hosseini, “Freakonomics” by Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner, “The Kite Runner” by Khaled Hosseini, “Blink” by Malcolm Gladwell, and “The Yiddish Policeman’s Union” by Michael Chabon.

Question 7: Who is your current favorite music artist? Who was your favorite music artist when you were at Brown?

Again, answers to this question were varied. It was interesting to see that many artists who were favorites back at Brown were also listed as favorites today: Bruce Springsteen, U2, The Police, Billy Joel, R.E.M., Stevie Wonder. Also, a lot of people picked the same artist as the answer to both questions. Who says that 80s music sucked?  Here's the complete listing of the Class of 1991's favorite music artists.

Question 8: What's the best trip you've ever taken? What's your future dream destination?

Once again, responses were all over the map. (Groan.)  They are too hard to summarize – so we compiled a full best trip listing.

Question 10: What are your main sources of satisfaction?

The vast majority of respondents to this question answered “family,” “work,” “friends,” or a combination of the three. Some people spoke specifically about what they enjoy about their work, such as teaching or making the world better. Many people specifically mentioned exercise or other outdoor activities. Finally, a few people chose where they live as a main source of satisfaction. Here’s a cross section of answers:

• Spending time with family and friends. Helping others in need through work, volunteering, or just being there for family and friends. Regular exercise. Going to the beach.
• Skiing, biking, my nephews, having a vocation devoted to sustainability/making the planet a better place.
• Kids, outrigger canoeing, job well done.
• Beautiful parks near my house in Jamaica Plain, MA--I go somewhere every day, and my walk to work is even through a park. Kind and fun husband. Reading, cooking, friends, amazing coworkers, neat pets. It's pretty quiet but it works for me!
• Seeing my children develop and grow. Being a homeowner (very humbling). Looking in the mirror and realizing I am turning into my parents (now I realize that is a good thing!)
• Family / Red Sox / Giants / UCONN Basketball / Golf
• Walking beaches on Cape Cod, and building/tinkering on computers.
• My relationship with my wife, pursuing my career in law and policy, studying Chinese, renewing my interest in Judaism, and pursuing my passion for ballroom dance.
• I created my own dream job by founding a global health & environment nonprofit. I now have my own platform to pursue all of my far-flung interests from now until the grave. Beyond work, I live a blessed existence filled with devoted family and friends too numerous to mention.
• Giving my children a good life. Contributing to the public good even though they probably don't deserve it and certainly don't appreciate it.
• The relationships I have with my friends, students and family. I am a volunteer 6th grade basketball coach and I teach current school teachers who want to become school principals. I love working with them and watching them grow.
• Masturbation.
• My time with my family (husband and kids). Usually it involves running around the house playing hide and seek or capturing "bad guys," or playing baseball in the yard. Pretty simple stuff. My work as a lawyer is also very satisfying, particularly when I am able to help clients living on the edge.

Question 10: What is the best thing you’ve done since graduation?

Most respondents answered either finding their life partner or having kids, or both. Other people mentioned career highlights. Here are some of the more unique responses we got:

• Ditched my car and became a bike commuter.
• Helped start a charitable foundation in memory of my second son Jacob who died of SIDS in 2006.
• Decide to change careers. Twice. Might do it again it was so great.
• Seen most of China before it became westernized.
• I've done what I enjoy and haven't given in to materialism, an "impressive" job title, fancy car, etc. I've taught hundreds of students something about themselves and this world.
• Bought a farm in central NY.
• Built a nanorobot out of DNA that was very well received.
• For myself, the best thing was to start a family. On a larger level, I saved my brother's life a few years ago with a bone marrow transplant.
• Turn gay.
• Best - had a baby. Second best - had a second baby. Third best - had a third baby. Fourth best - Developed a way to treat brain tumors without causing hair loss.

Question 11: What is your biggest source of stress, and how do you manage it?

Unsurprisingly, most respondents alluded to the difficulty of achieving balance between work and personal life. Work is a major source of stress for many people, both substantively and because of the amount of time it takes.  Time management, inability to get everything done, divorce, infertility/adoption – these also came up a lot. Several people also cited finances as a source of stress.  As for how to manage: people turn to exercise, alcohol, ordering out, crying, or denial.  Here are some of the responses that stood out:

• Cost of living in NY. My wife and I make decent money but between saving for school, retirement and monthly expenditures for housing, it just feels like we are barely keeping up.
• Husband is deployed in Iraq. That's a pretty big one right now. Managed with naps, carbs, and someone else cleaning my mess of a house.
• Time pressures, and trying to meet someone to start a family with (these are related problems). No special tricks - try to find time for everything. Tried some internet and speed dating.
• My biggest source of stress is trying to do it all. I try to manage it by occasionally blowing off steam with friends.
• Fear of dying. I deal with it by trying to make my life worth something and by fishing a lot.
• Being an American in a world that, after decades of mildly spurning us because they envied what we had and what we exported to their countries (from Baywatch to Bourbon), finally has a legitimate reason to hate us. I manage it by remembering that Canada is right next door.
• Contributing enough to the world and to my community. Helping solve some of our country's very sad problems. Try to roll up my sleeves and work.
• Trying to live the "less is more" approach in a world that believes that "more is more." Mostly, I lose the battle. There is always a push to do more -- for yourself, for the kids, for others. Saying "no," being O.K. with doing fewer things but doing them more deeply is something that I'm still learning.
• Single motherhood, being divorced in a world of couples, juggling work and child care responsibilities. Managed by caffeine, humor, tolerance of disarray and confusion at times, pinot grigio.
• I feel guilty about whatever part of my life I am currently neglecting (which changes from moment to moment), whether it's my kids, my work, my friends. Hard to manage.
• Right now, the fact that as a television writer, my union is on strike. I am walking the picket lines daily and we have no current income. As I write this, there are no negotiations happening between the union and the companies. It is a frightening and uncertain time.
• Dealing with the repercussions of stepping off the goal-oriented fast track was the toughest, riskiest thing I've ever done. I've finally found my own road and started my own nonprofit, which has been more rewarding than I ever would've imagined.
• I'm a stay-at-home mom and stress comes with the territory...an hour-and-a-half hot yoga class on Fridays does the trick. I guess I manage to sweat it all out.
• Being single. I don't manage it well. Worrying about aging alone and feeling the emptiness from not being a parent.
• Morons at work, and I deal with it as quickly and effectively as possible, and then get back to the fun part of making TV shows.
• Caring day in and day out for patient, at any time something can go wrong. I may be at fault, or not. I may be unable to stop it. I may be unable to fix it. My patient may get worse. If that is not enough, I can also get sued. I manage it by caring carefully for my patients and caring about them.
• I have a knucklehead boss who is a political appointee and thus will continue in his incompetence at my level or get moved up to a better job and still be incompetent.
• Disorganization, entropy, inertia. I deal with it by keeping on top of it or by avoiding thinking of it altogether. (Both seem to be effective.)

Question 13: How is your life different from what you pictured it would be at this age, when you graduated from college?

These responses were the most interesting. Some people thought they’d be more settled at this point in their lives than they actually are, while others are surprised to find themselves married with kids. Some people thought they’d be better off financially at this age than they actually are, while others are surprised by how well they’re doing, money-wise. Some people mentioned that they never pictured themselves divorced, but that’s where they are.  Others find it surprising that they are living in a particular part of the country or doing a particular job. Many people talked about parenthood – that they never thought they’d have kids, or they never expected the deep and profound ways in which having children has affected them or their lives. Some people said that when they were at Brown, they really couldn’t picture this stage of life at all.

Here are some of the best responses:

• I thought life would be all settled at 25. Life is a lot longer than it appears in college. I'm 38,and I still feel there are so many Rubicons to cross, despite owning a company, being married, and having 2 kids.
• I knew I would be a writer. I knew I would be with someone I loved. I didn't know how much I would treasure the mundane, quotidian things about building a life together--working on a house; painting; gardening; cooking. In fact, I did not ever imagine that I would own a house. As a playwright, it just didn't seem to be in the cards.
• I thought motherhood would be easier and more natural. Sometimes it's very difficult and sometimes I wonder if I am naturally cut out for it. That's hard to admit.
• I thought I could be super-wife, super-mom, and super-doctor. I found out you can't do all these things well. Life has compromises!
• I didn't picture myself being in love and living with another man. I wasn't out when I was at Brown, and couldn't imagine being so happy and in love.
• I don't think I had any idea of what grown-up real life might be like, and frankly, I did not think about it very specifically. Life has evolved and I am happy with all the choices I made. The focus has clearly moved from being self-centered to being family-centered. My ambitions have also evolved and I measure success differently now than 15 years ago.
• Didn't expect to get divorced... I suppose no one does, though.

The point of all this is, the Class of 1991 is making its mark, doing great things, having lots of fabulous life experiences, and doing all this on our own terms, dammit. Just like dear ol’ Brown taught us to do…

2003 Class Survey responses